I don’t even know where to begin here. Mom guilt is one of the worst things I have ever experienced.
Here’s how it went for me: Had a baby, stayed home for a couple months, went back to work, and now feeling like I’m missing out on huge milestones.
(The first day I went back to work)
So working mamas, I feel you. I’m there with you. Crying in the parking lot on lunch breaks. Unable to compose yourself before walking into work. Tears streaming down your face as you drop your baby off and he waves bye-bye in the window. Taking deep breaths and still crying in the bathroom.
Mom guilt is a real thing. Very real. In my experience of talking to other moms with older kids, mom guilt is almost brushed under the table. “Oh we all have to do it. It was hard, but I got through it. People can send you videos and you’ll still get to see those milestones.”
Is that the same thing though? To me, it is not even close to the same.
When I talk to new moms, however, they open up greatly about how heartbreaking this is for them.
I was blessed to be home with Noah for 3 months, but most moms are going back to work after 6 weeks. At 6 weeks, babies are becoming a little more interactive. They’re discovering their fingers and toes. They’re even smiling!
(Noah at 2 months smiling back at me)
What I’ve found that helps me tremendously on days where I’m struggling with Motherhood, is receiving support from other moms.
This can look different for everyone. I’ve talked with coworkers, hopped on the phone with a friend, talked to family member, and one of my favorite methods has been writing a post on social media. It may seem scary, or you may perceive yourself as “weak” for being vulnerable, but I promise you, that it is empowering and supportive to reach out when you are feeling down.
My biggest takeaway from experiencing Mom Guilt, is that it’s all about perspective.
Recently, I voiced my mom guilt feelings on my personal page, and here are some of the loving responses I received:
“He will grow up seeing what a wonderful hardworking mama he has💕”
“All mom’s feel like this-I did too,but don’t let the guilt stop your joy!!!i raised my son alone,it was so hard leaving him,especially in the cold winter mornings,but I did teach him by example how to tow the line and learned good work ethics.Noah is still a baby,but he will see as he grows!!!just make the most of all your time with him!!!love to you all❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘🐾”
“I’m right there with you mama! It’s tough but like you said, were doing this for our boys to have the best life 💙”
“Goodness, he’s beautiful! And you are doing what you can to give him a beautiful life. Mom guilt is real, but you got this. Love you.”
The response that really put things into perspective for me:
“I cried sooo many days through my babies’ early years.
But as my girls got a little older and then my son came along. I realized, a flower still grows & blossoms even if I don’t watch it. As a matter of fact, they grow even taller, Bc they learn independence, confidence & pride. Bc they’re parents were fulfilling their lives everyday. And returning home, yes tired, yes shorter moments together, but returning home fulfilled.
Your son notices this.
You are fueling your soul by chatting with patients, providing a service that helps them be healthy, and even getting time on your commute to clear your mind.
It’s ok to have sad moments of longing.
But don’t regret your daily life.
Make the most of it. Modify wherever necessary, and remember:
Being a working mom is not easy. It is probably one of the toughest things you’ll do. But remember who you are doing it for. You are empowered to see it differently.
I’m here for you, mama.
You’ve got this.